Introducing ..... Erica!

Good morning!!! How do you find the light at the end of the tunnel? Hmmmm... Well in honesty, I'm not sure. Everytime that it finally feels like your at the end of the tunnel and the light is soo soo bright, something henders you from full exposure. Well, for me at least. I have developed a THICK skin over the years, not purposely but because of all of the adversities I have been faced with. Please know that I would take nothing for my journey. God has gifted me with such a strong core and balance. Especially in my adulthood I speak life into any storm I face before the rain can even form! If you know me then you know me. If not, Here is my story. My mother was on drugs when she had me, never knew my father. Mom had a little Jungle Fever... The mut(me)was born lol. My mother went into rehab to better herself and I went to live with my aunt and Uncle till 3yrs. old. When I was 10 years old my Grandfather, the matriarch of our family, Rev. Anthony Robinson, passed away 01-04-1998. Which also happened to be my only brothers birthday. My brothers name is Eric. He took my grandfathers death pretty hard. Two years would pass and then in fromt of my very own eyes... my mother passed. 12 years old. SHOCKED... PISSED were my feelings. when my mother passed I felt like i had been hit by a mac truck, my bestfriend... gone. After her death I went to live with my Grandmother. I have to laugh cause Shirley and I... had a special kinda bond. One minute we couldnt take each other the next we were laughing and eating! that was our thing, Old Country Buffet?! hmph lets just say they knew us! when I turned 15 my granny passed. By this time i had become numb, I had developed a easy way out of my pain, cry that whole first day of there death and then I would have this strong block.. no more tears. Not because I wanted to, I even tried to make myself cry. Don't get me wrong I was hurt the feeling was there but the tears would not come. After my Grannys death my aunt and uncle who took care of me when I was a baby stepped right back into roll as if it was first nature. As if we had not missed a beat. time went on I went to prom, graduated high school. Started working even had a few college classes, met my husband got engaged, wedding was in motion and then boom! 22 years old and my only brother passed! At this point I'm like ok God whats up!? How much more can I bare!? At this point I wasnt really able to place that faccade, that I'm strong face on. I cried , and cried and I became angry and angrier and I let it out on alot of people! I had to plan the funeral for my big brother. I had to watch the pain reflect from my eyes onto my aunts, I was mad and I didn't know what to do with my self. I was overwhelmed. One month after my brothers death I found out that I was pregnant. Yay!! Finally something for me!!!! Some happiness, the Light at the end of the tunnel was approaching and then..... miscarriage! if I could pull off punching a brick wall and watching the bricks break with out having to deal with my bones beings broken or my hand being jacked up... there would have been a lot of buildings knocked down by now. AH HA.. but there was a little light shining bright! I married the man of my dreams on November 27,2010 and carried a Healthy boy to full term. March 03,2011. I fell in love with my carbon copy, we will soon celebrate his 3rd birthday! My Aunt and Uncle once again stepped up and assumed the role of GREAT parents, also the role of grandparents. Life was looking good.. Uncle Robert was here for the first 6 months of Tj's life, and then at the age of 23 the man that I knew as my father who raised me and loved me like his own, passed away. Once again pain and grief and saddness and placing that faccade back on to comfort my aunt and three cousins! Pain! It would seem that my life was rough, I look at it as God gardening my garden! See from birth he placed only the finest dirt down to raise up what have got to be the most gorgeous flowers. Our tears watered them and Our love nurtured them, and when they were just right and Big and beautiful, he carefully removed them to put in Gods eternal vase in heaven! On May 6,2013 he filled the void with a baby boy who I named Eric Anthony in remeberance of my Brother and Grandfather. Since then life has been good, My husband faces adversity with his health, however he he a strong man of God and I have faith in knowing he will be healed im Jesus name. My children are awesome and I am happy! Its me and my aunty!!! Going strong! I love her just the way she is. My faith in God has grwon to some many new levels and I trust him to keep me in my right mind and in perfect peace! I wrote this whole bio to show you that just because a person looks like they got it all together on the outside, there are things that we all have gone through. Your story may not be mine but the struggle will make us relate! I could have turned out a whole different way! I could have lost my mind but because of my faith I am still holding on! I challenge you today to move against your pain, your hurt, you soul tie! Learn how to pray and ask God to give you peace and courage to make it! I urge you to love yourself before you love anyone else! Let God lead you into your destiny! God Bless You.